Let me introduce myself a little better, I will go by The ADHD Shroom but I am a middle age man(Gen X) that has struggled with his mental health his whole life. I was abused my father who was an alcoholic, he abused me physically, emotionally and mentally. I’ve always chalked a lot of how I am to just how I was raised, right or wrong I am who I am and my past has shaped me into who I am. Due to a lot that has happened over the past few years I have realized that yes it who I am but it doesn’t have to be. I have been trying to heal myself on my own for years and it hasn’t worked, or at least not that much.
But I am starting a new journey to heal and this site will be one of my focuses to hold me accountable on the journey and maybe just maybe someone that needs to hear my story will gain a little hope or at the very least know they are not alone. What works for me may not for someone else but as this grows who knows what may come of it, might be just me talking to myself or a community might grow from here. I will not “sugar coat” much because that is not me. So if anything I say is triggering or you feel is too much then please avoid but I hope you can find something that helps as I figure all this out and make something to share.
So here is the skydiving view of who I am and my journey. As stated I am middle age and when I grew up it was a different generation and world, I am also from the south and there is still a deep rooted mentality of how a man should be in regard to how they are emotionally. I was abused by father, neglected by mother, the middle child and introvert of the family. I was sick kid at times, overweight, non athletic, etc. so being all that growing up in the 80’s wasn’t always easy. I also took the brunt of the worst my father had to inflect. I worked a lot of different jobs and career paths till I ended up in IT where I am now, I was married for 15 years, have a son that will be 18 before I know it and currently engaged to a great woman who has a daughter. I only have a few friends that are close and I can open up to and I do cherish them greatly. But I am also recovering from being an alcoholic myself, suffer from ADHD, PTSD, have anxiety, depression, panic attacks, rejection sensitive dysphoria, have a ton of repressed anger, suffer with pain doctors can’t find a cause for, and diabetic just to name some of it. I have ruined my relationship with my son and fiancé and been on the edge of ending it because of not knowing how to dig myself out of this hole. I am hoping that this platform will let me to get some of this shame and guilt out so I can heal.
So here goes, lots more stories and posts to come. And of course as my ADHD seems to rule a lot lately they may be scattered but I am going to try and treat this as a journal first and then a platform second.